My Nikhil's Janmotsav today.

Again the most auspicious day of the year, my Sadgurunaaths birthday.
Not much to say but only relive the moments spent in the presence and again remember these words and realize what i lost, i lost the greatest treasure of my life and i don't understand that if i loved him so much as i feel i do then why am i still alive.

Revisiting an old post.

This is an old post of mine.
Titled: The Ocean of becoming.
 I felt i should revisit it. Add a few things.
(http://pragnya-vivek.blogspot.in/2006/11/ocean-of-becoming.html)

The Bhav saagar as this world is called in scriptures, what does it mean? Bhav is to become and sagar means ocean so literally it means the ocean of becoming. Bhav may also mean to happen, as in blessings e.g. Ayushmaan bhav (may you be blessed with long life)

This world of mine is constantly becoming something all the time. what creats this constant change?

It is Bhaavana (may be translated as emotions) , the Divine Mother,and therefore she is called Bhavaani.

Bhavaani means - one who makes it happen.

She tosses us as she wishes through bhaavana and she is also the one to makes us cross this

ocean of constantly becoming (bhav saagar) hence she is also called Bhavtaarini.

                            -------------------------------------------------

Now listen to this song, it is so apt for this post.

Sung by Abida ji, Album: Raqs-e-bismil., music Muzzafar Ali ji,

Lyrics:

Hazrat Zaheen Shahtaji

Ji chahe to sheesha ban ja, ji chahe paimana ban ja Sheesha paimana kya banna, mai ban ja maikhana ban ja..

If you wish, become the glass, or the chalice; But why choose, when you can become the wine and the tavern

Mai ban kar, maikhana ban kar masti ka afsana ban ja Masti ka afsana bankar hasti se begaana ban ja

By becoming the wine and the tavern, become the tale of intoxication. By becoming the tale of intoxication, become a stranger to life (interpretation: lose yourself in the lust of devotion)

Hasti se bagaana hona, masti ka afsana banna Is hone se is banne se achha hai, deewana ban ja

Becoming a tale, becoming a stranger to being, Better than these, however, is to become a madman (or someone madly in love (with God).

Deewana ban jane se, deewana hona achha hai deewana hone se achha, khak-e-dar e jaanana ban ja

Better than becoming a madman is to be a madman, Better than being a madman is to become dust at the door of a beloved

Khak-e-dar-e-jaanana kya hai, ahle dil ki annkh ka surma Shama ke dil ki thandak ban ja, noor e dil e parwana ban ja

What is dust, but kohl in the eyes of the people of the heart, Become the coolness at the heart of a candle, become the moth illuminating the heart

Seekh Zaheen ke dil se jalna, kahe ko har shamma par jalna Apni aag mein khud jal jaye, tu aisa parwana ban ja

1.Learn, Zaheen (Intelligent One), to burn from the heart Why burn for every flame. Become that moth that burns in its own fire

                                                ==================================

The above is not a perfect translation but passable. I like the last line ---- Apni Aag mein Khud jal jaaye tu aisa parwana ban ja.

A wake up call?

Today is Vyaasa Poornimaa as well as the date when Sadgurunaath left us. What a coincidence! i wonder if i should be sad or thankful and offer my gratitude to the one who was, is and will always be my Istha. He left us on this day, maybe because he had finished his mission or maybe out of sadness that try as much and inspite of superhuman efforts from his side to change us, we are still the same. speaking for myself, i am like the fly who sits on sweetmeat for a few seconds but as soon as it sees night-soil it will leave the sweet and go and stick to (sh)it.
May be the change will come slowly.
One thing i know for sure is that he will never stop trying. It is a promise he made and one that he will keep. He is after all Nikhilehwaraananda Nath.
Todays coincidence is i feel a wake up call. Hope we all heed it. we have emerged from him - its time we merged in him.

So true.

My Sadgurunath always said' " You will realize the importance of my presence amongst you only after i am gone". And so true it is. everyday a drop of tear forms in the eye, a huge ball of pain in the heart just trying t understand what we missed in not grabbing the golden opportunity. We let it slip by and now nothing but a feeling of emptiness. None like him ever, with his extreme motherly love for us.
but we still have his name on our lips.

Kya jaanu sajan, hoti hai kya ghum ki shaam.

Jal uthhe sao diye, jab liya tera naam.
Kya jaanu sajan, hoti hai kya ghum ki shaam.
Jal uthhe sao diye, jab liya tera naam.
Kya jaanu sajan, hoti hai kya ghum ki shaam.
Kaanto mein main khadi, naino ke dwaar pe.
Nis din bahaar ke dekhun sapne.
Kaanto mein main khadi, naino ke dwaar pe.
Nis din bahaar ke dekhun sapne.
Chehre dhool kya, chanda ki chandani.
Utri to reh gayi mukh pe apne.
Kya jaanu sajan, hoti hai kya ghum ki shaam.
Jal uthhe sao diye, jab liya tera naam.
Kya jaanu sajan, hoti hai kya ghum ki shaam.

Jab se mili nazar, maathe pe ban gaye.
Bindiya nayan tere, dekho sajna.
Jab se mili nazar, maathe pe ban gaye.
Bindiya nayan tere, dekho sajna.
Dharr li jo pyar se, meri kalayiyan,
Piya teri ungaliyan, ho gayi kangana.
Kya jaanu sajan, hoti hai kya ghum ki shaam.
Jal uthhe sao diye, jab liya tera naam.
Kya jaanu sajan, hoti hai kya ghum ki shaam.
Jal uthhe sao diye, jab liya tera naam. Kya jaanu sajan....
Kya Janu Sajan by waferthin

Kya jaanu sajan (Baharon Ke Sapne) - Lata Mangeshkar.

A heartfelt request

http://www.123musiq.com/SOURCE/Hindi/Sonu Nigam - Kal Aaj Aur Kal Rafi (6 CDs)/CD 4/10 - Subah Na Aayee Shaam Na Aayee (Cha Cha Cha).mp3Movie Chaa Chaa Chaa.

Subah Na Aayi Sham Na Aayi

Singers Mohmmad Rafi Composers Iqbal Quereshi Lyricist Neeraj

khushii jisane khojii vo dhan leke lauTaa
ha.nsii jisane khojii chaman leke lauTaa
magar pyaar ko khojane jo chalaa vo
na tan leke lauTaa na man leke lauTaa

subaha nA aa_ii, shaam nA aa_ii (2)
jis din terI yaad nA aa_ii, yaad nA aa_ii
subaha nA aa_ii, shaam nA aa_ii

kaisii lagan lagI ye tujh se, kaisii lagan ye lagI
ha.nsI kho ga_ii, khushii kho ga_I
aa.Nsuu tak sab rahan ho ga_ii
arthii tak sab nIlaam ho ga_ii (2)
duniyaa ne dushmanI nibhaaI, yaad nA aa_ii
subaha nA aa_ii, shaam nA aa_ii

tum mil jaate to ho jAtI puurii apanii raam kahAnI
ghar ghar taaj mahal ban jaataa, ga.ngA jal aa.Nkho.n kaa pAnI
saa.nso.n ne hathaka.Dii lagaaI, yaad nA aa_ii
subaha nA aa_ii, shaam nA aa_ii

jaise bhI ho, tum aa jaao
aag lagI hai tan me.n aur man me.n (2)
ek taar kii duurii hai (2)
bas daaman aur qafan me.n
huii maut ke sa.ng sagaaI, yaad nA aa_ii

aa jaao, aa jaao, aa jaao

One of my all time favorite song.

Shankaraabharanam.
A movie which has stayed with me even after so many years.
This song is my all time favorite.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=cWzIMlh6czk

lyrics and meaning:
1. దొరకునా ఇటు వంటి సేవ
నీ పద రాజీవముల చేరు
నిర్వాణ సోపానమధిరోహణము
సేయు త్రోవ

dorakunA iTu vanTi sEva
nee pada rAjeevamula chEru
nirvANa sOpAnamadhirOhaNamu
sEyu trOva

Word to word meaning
--------------------
dorakuna = can I ever obtain
iTu vanTi sEva = a servitude like this?
nee = your
pada rAjeevamula = lotus feet
chEru = reach
nirvANa sopAnam = the steps called liberation
adhirOhaNamu sEyu = climbing
trOva = way

Gist:
-----
Can I ever find a way to climb the steps of liberation to reach your lotus feet? Can I ever be blessed with your servitude?
రాగాలనంతాలు నీ వేయి రూపాలు
భవ రోగ తిమిరాల పోకార్చు దీపాలు
నాదాత్మకుడవై నాలోన చెలగి
నా ప్రాణ దీపమై నా లోన వెలిగె
నిను కొల్చు వేళ దేవాధి దేవ
దొరకునా ఇటు వంటి సేవ

rAgAlanantAlu nee vEyi roopAlu
bhava rOga timirAla pOkArchu deepAlu
nAdAtmakuDavai nAlOna chelagi
nA prANa deepamai nA lOna velige
ninu kolchu vELa dEvAdhi dEva
dorakunaa iTu vanTi sEva

Word to word meaning
--------------------
rAgAlanantAlu = the infinite ragas
nee = your
vEyi roopAlu = thousands of forms
bhava rOga = disease of worldly bondage
timirAla = darkness
pokArchu = dispelling
deepAlu = lights
nAdAtmakuDavai = having the nada (sound) as your soul
nA lOna = in me
chelagi = vibrate
nA prANa deepamai = as my life force
nA lOna velige = shining in me
ninu kolchu vELa = the time I worship you
dEvAdhi dEva = the Lord of gods
dorakuna = can I ever obtain
iTuvanTi sEva = a servitude like this?

Gist:
-----
Your thousands of forms are like the infinite number of ragas and dispel the darkness of the worldly bondage. Your soul is the "nada" (sound). You vibrate inside my soul and you shine inside me as the life-sustaining light. O Lord of all Gods, can I be blessed with your servitude as I worship you?
ఉచ్చ్వాస నిస్వాసములు వాయు లీనాలు
స్పందించు నవ నాదులే వీణా గానాలు
నడలు యెదలొని సదులె మృదంగాలు
నాలొని జీవమై నాకున్న దైవమై
వెలుగొందు వేల మహానుభావ
దొరకున ఇటువంటి సేవ

uchchvaasa niswaasamulu vaayu leenaalu
spandinchu nava naadulE veeNaa gaanaalu
naDalu yedaloni sadule mRdangaalu
naaloni jeevamai naakunna daivamai
velugondu vEla mahaanubhaava
dorakuna iTuvanTi sEva

Word to word meaning
--------------------
uchchvAsa = inhalations
niAwAsamulu = exhalations
vAyuleenAlu = violins
spandinchu = vibrating
nava nADule = the 9 channels in my body
veeNa nAdAlu = the sounds of veena
naDalu = ringing
eda lOni = in my heart
saDulE = sounds
mrudangAlu = drums
nA lOni jeevamai = the life in me
nAkunna daivamai = the only God I have
velugondu vELa = as you glow
mahAnubhAva = O great one
dorakuna = can I ever obtain
iTuvanTi sEva = a servitude like this?

Gist:
-----
I make my inhalations and exhalations as the sounds of violins. The vibrating nine nADis in my body play the veena. My heartbeat is the sound of drums. As you glow inside me as my life and as my only God, can I be blessed with your servitude?

My Sadgurunath's Birthday.

The most auspicious day of the year is here. Happy Nikhileshwaranand Jayanti to all.